Splash

The Splash texts are the randomly selected texts that marquee across the main screen.

Incomplete list of Splashes

Splash text	Explanation	Version added
// (and other texts with varying numbers of slashes)		v100 Alpha
Always point phaser away from body		v100 Alpha
Always trust a mushroom that can talk! - a mushroom that can talk	Mycelians in-game.
Always wear hard hat while brain is exposed		v100 Alpha
Arriving on time is second to safety!		v100 Alpha
Been turned into a metalface against your will? You can sue!		v100 Alpha
Buy Octocream! 45% better*		v100 Alpha
Cobalt - It's there to protect you!		v100 Alpha
Cobalt - Never leave home without it!		v100 Alpha
Cobalt is not microwave oven safe		v100 Alpha
Did you get sued for turning someone into a metalface? You are screwed!
Don't LIE!		v100 Alpha
Don't look straight into beams		v100 Alpha
Don't look straight at the Mojangster, it will melt your brain (Appears to be no longer visible; found in eng.translations)	"Mojangstas" are Mojang employees.
Don't trust a mushroom that can talk	Mycelians in-game.
Epic circuits are no joke
Experts agree: Purple is the new black		v100 Alpha
Got cobalt based blood? Make sure to notify your doctor when taking blood samples
Got legal troubles? You need Spencer & Pratt!		v100 Alpha
'Gravel is awesome because arrows!' - thewreck	Reference to Minecraft, as flint (retrieved from gravel in the game) is a component of the crafting recipe for arrows. thewreck is one of the developers of Cobalt.	v100 Alpha
'I eat my cheetos with chop sticks so I don't get the yellow crap on my fingers' - Genius	Cheetos are a brand of cheese puffs. Grabbing them with a hand results in the cheese powder sticking to the fingers, hence, "the yellow crap on my fingers". The "Genius" most likely refers to Jeb, who has mentioned eating Cheetos with chopsticks before.	v100 Alpha
'I used to release alphas on a Friday - then I took an arrow to the knee' - Oxeye	"Arrow to the knee" meme from Skyrim	v100 Alpha
If auto updater doesn't work, download a file with a secret message?
'If not enough thingybob, add more Fairlight' - Anosou	The Fairlight CMI was a synthesizer popular in the 80s. Mattias "anosou" Häggström was responsible for the music in Cobalt.	v100 Alpha
Infinite possibilities, no risk of physical injury. Connect to the NeoGrid today!
Never attempt to unscrew brain cover unassisted		v100 Alpha
Never shoot homing missiles straight down		v100 Alpha
Never trust weather reports		v100 Alpha
New emotions are common. Stay calm and carry on.		v100 Alpha
Roll - recieve bacon		v100 Alpha
Service your metalface regularly!		v100 Alpha
ShopCo does not take any responsibility for broken weapons after purchase! (Appears to be no longer visible; found in eng.translations)
Take no chances. Only GalactiCo provides 100% prion free brain nutrients - guaranteed.
The Cobalt Computer - The greatest leap in cyborg research		v100 Alpha
The all new iCircuit 5S allows for unparralelled faster syncing with your ships mainframe.
The top of your head deflects bullets better than anything! (Appears to be no longer visible; found in eng.translations)	In Cobalt, rolling has 3 parts: the top of the head, the sides, and the feet. Getting shot in the feet damages a metalface, deflecting from the sides sends the bullet in another direction, and deflecting with the top of the head results in a "perfect deflect", in which the bullet goes in the exact opposite direction.
Tomorrow's weather report: [Electron Bursts/Meteor Showers/Nail your windows/Overcast/Ozone Hole/Panic/Raining/Snowing/Space Debris/Stay indoors/Sun Storms/Sunny/Thunderstorms]		v100 Alpha
Try not to remember your past life	On an archived version of playcobalt.com, the advertisement to become a metalface offers an optional memory wipe, hence, "past life".	v100 Alpha
Want to become more photogenic? Talk to us at MetalFabulous, we know metalfaces like no one else. (Appears to be slightly different in the current version of the game; found in eng.translations)
While night time is not or less then day time		v100 Alpha

The splashes from Cobalt WASD are as follows

WASD Splashes

Splash Text	Explanation	Order in eng.translations
No loot crates!	"Loot crates" are items in newer games that grant random items to the player. They are banned in countries such as the Netherlands as they are considered gambling. In Cobalt WASD, there are no loot crates.	1
No pay to win!	"Pay to Win" ("P2W") refers to the concept of purchasing weapons with unfair advantages with real-world currency. You cannot use real-world currency in Cobalt WASD, much less to buy overpowered items.	2
No day 1 DLC!	Downloadable Content ("DLC") is often offered separately from the game, and must be purchased. Day 1 DLC is releasing DLC the same day the game is released, meaning you have to purchase the game along with the DLC for the full experience. Cobalt WASD has no DLC, and did not release any DLC on the day it was released.	3
No edition exclusives!		4
Fair Game!		5
Full Game!		6
No Matter War For Sven!		7
Blessings!		8
Le ZQSD!		9
Play Worskhop Maps!	"Workshop" refers to the Steam Community Workshop, where players can contribute maps.	10
Exclamation Mark!		11
Voice Acting Inside!	Jens "Jeb" Bergensten, Owen "Bopogamel" Jones, APirateHat, and Melissa McDonald recorded the announcer lines for WASD.	12
WASP WASD?		13
Made With 67% Ginger	Oxeye Game Studio is composed of 3 people, two of which have red hair ("Gingers"). 2/3 can be represented as about 66%.	14
16% Croatian Invasion!		15
'Never Release In December'	The game was officially released on 1 December 2017	16
Aim with Mouse!	Cobalt WASD is played in the standard "WASD + Mouse" format, where the player aims with a mouse.	17
No robots harmed!	In films where animals are depicted as harmed, there are disclaimers in the credits stating "No animals were harmed in the making of this film". The splash is a parody.	18
Made with 91% Love!		19
Made in Sweden!	Oxeye is based in Sweden.	20
Made in the Mojang office!		21
Made by Oxeye!		22